Grr, I'm so tired of being me!

I do so many things I dislike that piss me off and twist me around inside.

But this is what I do when I'm just doing.  When I'm not spinning in circles of insecurity, and second-guessing myself over everything and making myself a zero in my own book--if I don't just be, I go crazy too.

So what's right?  The way that makes more people I love/care about/somewhat care about happy?

I don't know!

When do I get to start being more secure?  Damnit, I've worked on it, I've tried so hard and I feel like I'm stuck in 2nd gear.  I know tons of people that aren't (Ok, that's a lie, but most of them don't even have a fraction of what I have... that, or they're impeccable actors.  I'm leaning towards the first.)  how did they get that way?  Time?  Wisdom?  Support?

Jesus...  When do I get to start liking myself?

Ok, let me rephrase that--I already do like myself.  When do I get to start loving myself?  When do I get to stop -doubting- myself?

UGHHHH!!!

When you relax and breathe. Remember it's just life... It'll pass. :)

Sometimes I think it's less of a loving yourself thing at first and more of an acceptance. You are who you are and don't care what others think. After that happens for a while, then the love starts. And you get to stop doubting yourself when you get some more life under your belt and get to think things like "I've been through this a couple of times before, I know how this goes." I doubt myself a little every day.